When you move people meet often in a complicated world of dating. There are so many different people looking for many different things, and it can seem impossible sometimes to know who you are meeting. Yet it should not be this way. The more you know what you are looking for the easier it will be to meet the person who is right for you.
I will start this conversation with a anecdote. I have known for a very long time now, not even 6 months, a great friend called Dickens. He is 80 years old. I never would have guessed that he would be a great friend, let alone someone who made my life what it is. One day unconsciously, I asked him to go to dinner with me because I really wanted to taste his food. He said he would be honored but he was very principle. He was a very well-respected person in our community and across the country that made me think he was above all else, a great friend.
Literature is a great teacher, at least a teacher of what not to do. When you are looking for the right person to date, you need to know what you want and what to avoid. Here is a sample of what I have written down for possibly the wrong person:
On the dating scene it is best to be as specific as possible. At least to the letter. The person you write down must have some knowledge of what you are looking for. It is easy for one to be oblivious, especially when the one doing the looking is also writing the same thing. So you ask, what should I write.
The next thing that you will want to do is make sure that you know what you want. You need to be clear about the person you want in your life. It is easy to close off someone to a friendship but hard to do it for a long term relationship. So you must make sure that the person you love at the end of the tunnel also knows about the other person. It’s OK if you don’t feel you have the same life, but if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, then getting to know them is a huge deal. When you are inviting people into your world, you want to make sure that you know what they need and that you can give it to them.
One of my recent resolutions was to be more generous to my friends. I spend more time with them now that I have more time to spend in my own life. But it is not only about spending quality time. I have become more thoughtful and appreciative of them. I am on a no-léd Slovakia camping trip this summer and I have to say that my friends at the restaurant where I’m staying have thoroughly enjoyed the food and wine they have served me. It wasn’t all that much easier to do that when I was still very new to the game. Now that I know more about where they are coming from and have more time to spend with them, I enjoy their company all the more and they are becoming real friends and allies in my struggles.
You can do that same thing by keeping your dating life somewhat fresh. That’s what people who are open will do. When you start doing that, you will probably start seeing more of the people you want to be around. In many ways, you will feel more positive about your own life and the life that you have spent putting yourself out there. Perhaps then you will feel ready to get married, which seems to be the happy solution for most people in that situation.
Dating attract people that you already know. Keep a mental note of the people you already know, the ones you have known for a long time. They are also the people you have known before as friends. That could be family, friends, coworkers or even people you have never met. Instead of wasting time putting yourself out there and finding out that you are attracted to the wrong people, spend that precious time attracting the people you already know rather than wasting your time again trying to attract the wrong men.
It is that easy to attract the right person when you know who you are and where you are going. Even in the complicated world of dating, keeping this fact in mind is invaluable in your search for happiness.